Awakening

 

Shroud of the night, ghostly white

Envelopes all the land 

In the deepest of slumbers.

A mystic by birthright 

Who offers

Fleeting glimpses of insight

Alas, the songbirds with their dawn chorus

Herald the time of awakening

As Eros leaves Psyche's side

The time is nigh

To uncover all that is hidden

The coaxing warmth of the sun

Stirs the earth from her langour

As the mist bids a reluctant retreat 

How glorious be this miracle

That renews it's promises 

Day by day

The Journey

 

Triumphant are those first moments,

The announced arrival of a train, pulling into it’s station,

Carrying you onwards on a journey mandated.

With time left behind and a distilled sense of the future.

A screeching halt foreshadow moments to come, 

Forever frozen in the frames of the mind.

Yet the pilgrimage continues, seemingly undeterred

Glimpses of deep exhilaration can be spied in the blurred chaos

Echoes of a great sense of stillness and peace,

Rippling through the submerged universe...

Each one a master of their destiny

Yet a novice to fate

Embrace of a Python

Heart pounding, Head throbbing
High tide arrives,in a ricochet of the senses
The eyes see, magnifies,
Reflection in the mirror,
A stranger with white pallor

The world fades yet the pressure builds.
broken armour,
and in the run down seams,
fear spills over in a conquest of terror
The body frozen, the chest tightens
Panic is a Python
Embracing to kill

The neverending pursuit of happiness

In the past two years, I've had to deal with situations I never thought I would ever have to. I've been to hell and back. I've seen some of the lower points of my life. Everything, I realised , happened because I tried to force happiness. Big mistake.

I panicked because I thought I was running out of time. Hence I willingly jumped ship, thinking I'll surely find a life jacket along the way. But trusting in blind optimism is a stupid thing, as I learned the hard way.

I used to look into the mirror, admire myself and seek out reasons to believe I'm good enough. I exhibited this in ways that honestly turned into an addiction. But now I hardly look in the mirror, I feel that what I need is inside me and I don't need a mirror to validate me.

An appeal to innocence

If I find you again,
Will all be right with my world?
Lessons yet to be learned,
I take my time
For an encounter with you.

A wish - is wisdom hoping
That I uncover my senses.
Temptation, you win!
With your twin desolation to greet me.

How long will I be shackled
Conjuring the key to my redemption?
I ponder these incantations,
In the Imbroglio of the moment

 Mortification runs the course.

Finding Love

So this is my 23rd post. The number 23 has always held a special meaning for me, maybe because my own Birthday falls on a 23. Watch the movie 'number 23' if you haven't already. Amazing to see Jim Carrey portray such an intense character.

Coming to the point. What is love and how do you find it? My own parents found each other and I'm glad they did ( not because I was an eventual result but because there is nothing more beautiful than two people fitting together in harmony) Does the soulmate exist? For some it's a myth and for others, their cherished fantasies brought to life.

I'm sceptical about love but at the same time there is nothing more I would want. But I'm so tired already of learning the steps of the dance, figuring out how to dance with each person, only to fumble and lose my footing.

What about the ones who haven't found their so called soulmate? Are they leading a life any less unfulfilled? Does being content not be enough?

I think finding love is having the courage to keep dancing until you find the right partner. Sure you need practise but eventually your step falls in line with your partner. Maybe it's all an adjustment to fool yourself into thinking that this is a good dance.

I'm not sure if I want a wild tango or a steady waltz. But I do know that someday I want to dance with someone who can keep up with me, no matter the tempo.

All flowers in time bend towards the sun

I thought I was over you.I thought I had moved on, but I guess not. You have every right to be angry or whatever else you feel entitled to. But you don't deserve the power to hurt me. I know that everybody goes through their rough patches and regrets but in the end, we have to learn to grow and bury the past. I'm going to erase you, just like you did me. Maybe the time we spent together meant nothing to your practised, experienced ways. But you forget that you affected me or anyone else who came in your path. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

My memories of you are fading...The spot of ink you left in the story of my life has slowly dulled with the passage of time. Time is a great healer. I realise I have been disrespectful of time. I should have used it more wisely and actively in filling the pages with better experiences. You can never gain back time lost but what you choose to do from this moment forth can heavily impact the rest of your existence. I say 'you' because I know I'll read this another day and remind myself of the turning points in my life, however small.

I have been honest to a fault. Some people just don't get that I do not have ulterior motives. Not everything in life is premeditated. Everyone is lonely, reaching out to people in their own ways. People with the greatest pain on the inside reflect the opposite of what they feel. They try the hardest to make sure no one reaches the low points they have been skimming their whole lives. Empathy needs to work both ways, and people forget that.

I yearn to love. Love should not be bought like lust is. Lust is just a transaction made between two bodies..But love, it's more than a transaction of body and mind. Love should feel easy and as natural as the path of the river flowing out towards the sea. But for most, rocks ,dams and twisted paths come into play and prevent from getting to where we need to go.

I wish you courage and the strength to carry on.