Sinking stone

I'm sinking through an abysmal darkness.
It's cold down here, no warmth from anywhere.
There are glimpses of light, but I'm too weighed down to give chase.
Each time I wish to rise,the current pulls me down.
Yet I know the fighter in me will not give up
till I breath the air I so desperately seek.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIZtHVu5VbE

Let's play the blame game, shall we?

I face forward and sinner I may be, I have done you no wrong.
Yet you are quick to judge and criticise.
A stitch disguised, to tear through the fabric of my existence.
Yet I know your loud judgements are a mask to hide your own secrets.
Are they worse than mine?
At least mine aren't secret anymore and the pleasure was all yours.
I let you think you won, but I knew all along,
the tune to that false song.

The Absurdity of today

I'm writing at the moment,from the floor of my enclosed balcony. I guess I feel comfortable in small places. The larger the volume of space, the more lost I am. It often leads me to wonder, "What is my miniscule contribution to the plethora of thought?"

I would define myself as an overthinker,yet sometimes, I fail to think about the larger facts of life.Somehow its the very things that fail to be discussed that attracts my attention.

From this morning, I've had a reactive day. I decided to go for a jog this morning and being a single woman,even in this time and place, I've found reason to be wary of people.

It started from the moment I left my apartment, headed towards the local favourite joggers paradise.I noticed for some reason, a man cycling towards me.His aura sort of struck out and I felt uneasy. I continued jogging,sometimes through off beaten lanes and as I was turning around the corner I realised the man had followed me . I continued waiting to see which roads he would take but he never made the first move. Now,I was sure he was a creep, probably waiting to corner me.I quickly made my way to the main road and crossed across the road.The creep continued on the other side of the road turning back to look for me.As his gaze met my furious accusation, in front of everybody, I yelled at him saying" Stop following me you creep!(in the most local way possible). He was visibly guilty and just took off.I was so seething mad that inspite of dressing conservatively and taking every precaution I'm still exposed to this ridiculousness.

Then later today as I was rushing to do a thing for a friend( which unfortunately did not materialise), I was subjected today to my next invasion of person, Do excitable men think that they can just brush past a woman, coping a feel? I was horrified that I had to deal with this for the second time today! I also noticed a traffic cop just passing by after the incident. I quickly told him what happened and the old drunk got what he deserved.

Wouldn't it be nice to achieve a state of nirvana, where finally after never ending cycles of rebirth,after relearning mistakes,and you attain freedom from samsara, conquering your faults.

I want to continue talking bout this but my private balcony also makes for the perfect hotbox and, gives me the munchies. So let's talk  at another time. Till then, I'll let you drive this train of thought. Kidding, you can do whatever pleases you but for those interested in minimal techno please give this a listen!

http://8tracks.com/buddy-israel/join-the-dark-side

Navel gazing

I am what is required of me,
yet in a fleeting moment, I can be someone else.
Does it drive you mad?
Or does it urge you to look closer, dig deeper?

When you do, don't be alarmed.
Gazing at me from under a frozen lake,
looking for the break in the surface.
I'll try not to shut you out forever.

You see me as bold, but I am a coward.
My lips may be smiling, but all you ever wanted to know,
you seek in my eyes.
Puzzled and curious, a hound on the hunt,
You won't get anywhere.

Acts of fury borne from love.
Love lies and makes the distorted seem real.
I want you to see me naked for who I may be,
I just hope you aren't disappointed.